We Didn’t Last But That Doesn’t Mean You Weren’t Special

And it turns out, I was wrong.

We didn’t last. We didn’t make it to the finish line. We didn’t necessarily get the fairy-tale ending that we both wanted. We weren’t meant to be with one another. We weren’t and still aren’t soulmates. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not grateful for the short time that we had together. That doesn’t mean I’m not thankful for the brief period in time wherein we both thought we owned the world. I want to let you know that I’m deeply appreciative of the fact that you let me fall in love with you. And I also want to thank you for allowing yourself to be vulnerable; for allowing yourself to fall for me as well. 

I just want to say that I really appreciate how you just allowed me to be my regular old self; how you never pressured me into being or acting a certain way just for you. You always made me feel accepted and valued. You always made me feel like you were happy with the way that things were. And I was happy too. I want to tell you that I’m grateful with how you constantly supported me with my goals and dreams. You always backed me with my ambitions and my little milestones – even when it was difficult for you to do so. I want to tell you that I’m grateful how you always had my back; how you always made sure to let me know that you would help me back up whenever I fall.

We didn’t last, but I still want to thank you for being an important part of my life.

In hindsight, I have grown to understand and accept why you and I just weren’t built to last. In spite of our comfort and happiness with one another, some things just aren’t meant to be and that’s okay. From the moment we walked into each other’s lives, the odds were stacked against us, but we still tried our best. And I regret nothing. I don’t consider it a waste of time. You were a necessary (and very welcome) step in my life that I needed to take. 

We were working on borrowed time and I’m fairly sure that you and I made the most of it. That’s why I can say that I have no regrets with our being together. We took it seriously. We didn’t play around. We tried our best and that’s all anyone can really ever do. We fell in love and we did whatever we could to make things work. We took all of the criticisms and the outside chatter and we said we didn’t care. We knew what we wanted. And even though things didn’t work out the way that we originally wanted them to; I can say on behalf of the both of us that I was one hell of a run.

I was devastated that things had to end. I went through my usual grieving process. I didn’t want to let you go. I didn’t want to let us go. I felt like a huge part of me was being taken away from my life when we had to end things. My mind was bombarded with a million hypotheticals. I couldn’t stop thinking about the things I could have done better in the relationship. I couldn’t stop wondering about the things that we could have been had we only tried harder with one another. I had a cut in my heart that I thought only you could heal. But it healed by itself over time. But now it’s a wound. It’s a scar that’s never going to go away. It doesn’t hurt anymore. But it still has your name attached to it. And it’s going to be there until the end of time. I’ve let you go but that doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten about you. People have to know that it’s possible to move on without necessarily forgetting.

I thought that you were going to be the one person I was going to spend the rest of my waking days with. And it turns out, I was wrong. And I may have been upset with it at the time when we ended. But that doesn’t mean that I regret whatever time we spent on one another.

Just because you and I didn’t end up lasting, I don’t want you to think that that means I saw you as someone who was insignificant. I don’t want to downplay the importance of the role that you played on my life. I don’t want you to falsely believe that you weren’t a person of worth to me. You meant so much to me. And in fact, you still do. It’s just that we can't be what we really need to be for one another. And that’s okay. 

(c) to OP

Endless Love

My first love was everything all at once.
The kind you never fall back from.
Never try to. Never want to.
A love so big, so strong, it never dies.
Never fades. Never loses its electricity.
The kind of love you fight for.
The kind of love that stays.

And Yet

The annihilation of your soul broke me to pieces
I see my bloodstained hands, my guilt spilling guts
I am your pariah, a vagabond in the shadows
And yet.. And yet..

The bitter farewell once bestowed upon
I see as a fortress guarding yourself against me
I am a distant memory of torture and agony
And yet.. And yet..

Lay Me Down - Sam Smith Cover

Yes, I do, I believe

That one day I will be

Where I was right there

Right next to you

And it's hard

The days just seem so dark

The moon and the stars

Are nothing without you

Your touch, your skin

Where do I begin?

No words can explain

The way I'm missing you

Deny this emptiness

This hole that I'm inside

These tears

They tell their own story

Told me not to cry when you were gone

But the feeling's overwhelming, it's much too strong

Can I lay by your side?

Next to you, you

And make sure you're alright

I'll take care of you

I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight

I'm reaching out to you

Can you hear my call?

This hurt that I've been through

I'm missing you, missing you like crazy

You told me not to cry when you were gone

But the feeling's overwhelming, it's much too strong

Can I lay by your side?

Next to you, you

And make sure you're alright

I'll take care of you

I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight

Lay me down tonight

Lay me by your side

Lay me down tonight

Lay me by your side

Can I lay by your side?

Next to you
You

Unfriended

True friends aren't easy to find. Letting go of them is stupidity.

"Best friends" aren't just your friends you ditch over such issues. They are people whose souls acknowledges yours. No matter the issue, the fight, the distance, the friendship CANNOT end. Forgive her. Try to understand her.

Unfriended.

She would have done it to you too but she didn't. Because she knows you're far too valuable to lose. But she also understands you and why you did such a thing. She's aware of the pain and the circumstance that you're in. You are moving on and leaving her behind, just like what she did - just like what she thought was the right thing to do.

She respects you highly. And though finding out that both of you aren't friends anymore devastated her, she chose to understand you because your level of pain isn't hard to imagine. Tears have been shed and tears will still flow. The heart that's been battered and bruised still beats and it beats for one heart alone. She will remain steadfast, alive and surviving and from this moment on, never will you find her open up the way she did when she was your friend.

But she will always be the same in love and care. However may you put it, she may have grown spiritually and mentally over the years but she's the same person who values you as high as she values her soul.

A Letter to My Soulmate

I can still hear your voice in my head when I read your old messages. I can still picture the lines of your face, that smile that always hinted more towards a smirk. I can still feel your touch, gentle on my chin, tilting my face to yours as if I was small and precious.

No one ever made me feel that way.

I always wanted to be bold, always wanted to be something powerful—a woman to be reckoned with. But you saw through that tough exterior. You saw the strong, but sensitive woman who wanted to be loved.

And I did love you.

You taught me how to let go. You taught me how to trust. You taught me that letting someone in isn’t terrible, even if it doesn’t end up the way you planned.

You taught me that love is beautiful, even if you get your heart broken.

You taught me that sometimes we love and lose, but it doesn’t make it any less worth it.

Today, I thought about you. About the time that’s passed, about the hours and street signs and highways that are crisscrossed between us. I thought about your laugh, how it filled me. I thought about your kisses, so tender on my forehead. The place I loved it the most.

You were everything I wanted, for a moment. But that moment didn’t stretch into forever.

We wanted different things, led different lives.

Maybe God didn’t want you to be my forever person. And I’ve accepted it now. I understand. Sometimes people are only meant to touch our lives for a period of time.

Sometimes it aches, the fact that you’re gone. But I still thank Him for sending you to me.

See, God always has a bigger picture in mind. He knew that our lives would be blessed by one another’s kisses. He knew that we would fall, and fall hard, and fall out.

And all the time that I was feeling so broken, He was teaching me how to heal.

I’m thankful that He gave me you. That He gave me a man I was searching for, even if that man isn’t the one I’ll marry. I’m thankful for the lessons I learned in loving you. That you can’t change people, can’t change their hearts. That sometimes timing is everything. And that sometimes you run out of second chances, and that’s okay.

Time and space will still always heal.

I’m thankful God gave me you—you imperfect, flawed, wonderfully complicated being who set my soul on fire.

Maybe we weren’t right for each other. Maybe we would have ended up burning down instead of setting the world ablaze with our light. Maybe we would have pulled each other from Him, from faith, from the beauty this world has to offer.

I don’t know the answers, but I’m trusting in God nonetheless.

We are apart now, no longer singing to the same song, no longer two hearts in rhythm. But I’ve come to understand that this is a part of life, a part of loving.

I believe that He has plans for us, for you, for me.

Even though I’m not sure what will happen now, where I will go, who I will love, or if I will ever cross paths with you again, I know that things happen for a reason. And they happen according to His plan.

And no matter how much our lives have changed, I’ll never look back on us with regret. God gave me you, gave me love, gave me our little temporary forever. And for that, I’ll always be thankful.

To the Guy Who Stopped Appreciating the Girl He Loves

It’s not the thought that counts.

You thought it’s enough to think it. You thought it’s enough that deep down, you love her.

You thought that being enigmatic was an excuse to stop appreciating her - so you let your past, your pride, your demons, your selfishness, the fact that you’re weak or scared, be a validation for why you stopped fighting for it, making an effort for it.

But this is the girl who you need to appreciate.

Give her your time, all your love, take her on a crazy adventure. Hold her hand, teach her something new. Kiss her face a million times, take her somewhere she’s always wanted to go, dance with her cheek to cheek, spoil her, make her feel special every day.

This is the girl who has changed your life, who has made you a better man. This is the girl who loves all your wrongness, all those parts of you that you hate. The girl who wipes your tears when you speak about your dad, who kisses your edges, who loves all your roughness. Those parts of yourself that you only show to her, she adores them - her love warms them, your imperfections, it changes you.

This is the girl you need to appreciate because you know in your heart you will never give all of you like that to anyone else; no one will love you better. No one will make love to you with as much passion.

A true connection is once in a lifetime.

Extraordinary love is rare, it means something. You need to fight for it, make an effort for it. You think choice means something. You think easiness is good. You think the more chances you have, the better. But, trust me when I say that she is in your heart. Your roots have entwined together, she looks at you as if you’re magic. You might think there’s something better - but it’s all an illusion, it's all bullshit - that's just your ego talking.

This love is extraordinary, you think you want it easy; calm seas and smooth sailing. But the girl you fell for is opinionated and smart, who doesn’t always agree. She is difficult, she requires effort; it will be a challenge, work - but the easy girl will never satisfy you. She will be sweet but uninspiring. She will always leave you wanting more.

Dating her is not the end of your liberty - it’s the beginning of it.

She argues with you because she cares. She craves more from you - she has opinions and big dreams for the future. She never lets you get away with slacking on your talents, and no matter how much she loves you, eventually she will leave if you stop putting in effort.

Because she knows what you have, and she will never put up with not getting everything she deserves.

Don’t risk losing the best thing you ever had.

Whatever you do, don’t let her get away. It may be difficult at times - she’ll drive you crazy, she’ll frustrate the hell out of you. But she will never leave you uninspired or unsatisfied. Although she will leave if you keep taking advantage of her.

You think that no matter what you do, she will always be there because she loves you. But remember that you fell for the girl who isn't easy — as in, she won't just "go with the flow.” She knows her worth. She is the girl who will not settle for someone who doesn't put her first.

You have a love that builds, that makes your soul alive. Don't let this love get discarded for the next hit. Don't lose this love because of your pride, fears, ego or selfish ways. Because someone will value how special she is - someone will put in the effort it takes to be with her.

Wake up and realize she's worth fighting for. Because if you don't, you are the one who will suffer the most. Make up for it and create memories. Travel. Photograph her with you laughing. Leave your comfort zone and do extraordinary things to the girl who believes you are his hero.

My Ultimate Cleansing Secret

Everyone is busy with their lives nowadays and yet, even during wee hours of the night I still see people posting many things about what they did at the gym or what they ate. It's really a no-brainer to say that these days people are opting for that healthier option. While there are still plenty people that would react to this, one can never digress to the fact that more and more people tend to value and give more attention to their health compared to, like, a decade ago.

I'm one of those people. I take notice of what I eat and get concerned about my health. I know how to appreciate food like the next foodie out there, don't get me wrong, I love food and I eat a lot. Like, a lot - A LOT. However, I am also not a fan of pure meat diet or the meat everyday routine. I can't live like that. My tongue also wants variety and adventure, what do you think?

Anyway, since I just came home from GenSan (where I went overboard with my adventurous tongue) I felt that I should do a bit of self cleansing. You know, self-cleaning, flushing toxins, fat burning, whatchamacallit. As I have mentioned before, and if you know me personally you know how I really love to eat and make my own food, I made something to help me cleanse.

 I was browsing my Facebook feed when in popped a message from one of my friends asking for a recipe. This is all about that new photo I posted in Instagram of a drink I concocted a few days ago now.

This is the Instagram photo of the juice that I posted.

Now this friend of mine asked for the recipe for this and after a few exchange of messages she closed the topic by saying "you should blog about this and the many stuff you make soon!" Which gave me this idea to share the recipe to you too! (Thanks so much Anne!)

There are a lot of benefits to each ingredient I used and I believe that this is not new to many health-buffs out there. So here goes~

What you will need:

1 cup freshly squeezed calamansi
1 cup honey
1 L *approximately* water
1 medium sized cucumber
1 Orange or Lemon
1 Stalk of fresh lemongrass
(brown sugar if you don't have honey or do a half and half for honey and sugar)

1. Slice the cucumber, orange or lemon and set aside. Crush the lemongrass' stalk with a pestle or the hard handle of your knife.
2. Mix calamansi juice and honey in an empty pitcher and pour half a liter of water.
3. Add the lemongrass first, stir and let sit for 5 minutes before adding the cucumber and orange or lemon slices. Add the rest of the water or if you're like me, I added ice instead. (And no, ice won't make you fat.)
4. Let sit for 10-15mins before drinking.
5. Enjoy!

My Pimple-Free Journey with Malunggay (UPDATED)

Well, as everyone knows what malunggay is, I won't delve deeper into it, just some, courtesy to those who live far, far away.

Moringa, or what the locals in the Philippines call Malunggay, is a highly nutritious, leafy vegetable. It has been called many names, but the one that stuck to me is "The Poor Man's Vegetable" due to the fact that this plant is so common and is consumed by everyone, particularly in the rural areas and slums. You don't have to buy these as they grow everywhere without any tending.

I just recently discovered the amazing uses of Vitamin C in the skin if applied topically because I started selling Derma Rollers. I will discuss more about that in my other blogpost soon. Anyways, I am aware that Vitamin C is great for the body, except that I am not well informed about its amazing powers on the skin  as applied in a serum form.

I am aware, however, that this plant is very very nutritious and thought, what if I applied malunggay juice to my pimples? Since Vitamin C helps reduce the breakouts and I know malunggay is full of Vitamin C, I mean, why not? It's organic, healthy, cheap and I don't have nothing to lose! (Except the pimples, which is wonderful!)

I will share with you some notable benefits of Malunggay :

• Malunggay leaves helps strengthens the immune system.
• Malunggay can help restores skin condition, controls blood pressure, relieves headaches and migraines.
• Malunggay tea can help strengthen the eye muscles.
• Malunggay tea can help heal inflammation of the joints and tendons.
• Malunggay tea can prevent intestinal worms.
• Malunggay can help increase semen count.
• Malunggay help normalize blood sugar level therefore preventing diabetes.
• Malunggay has anti-cancer compounds (phytochemicals) that help stop the growth of cancer cells.
• Malunggay helps relax and promotes good night sleep.
• Malunggay tea is used to treat fever and asthma.
• Malunggay help heals ulcers.
• Malunggay is high in calcium (four times the calcium in milk)
• Malunggay contains three times the potassium in bananas.
• Malunggay contain four times the vitamin A in carrots.
• An ounce of malunggay has the same Vitamin C content as seven oranges.
• Malunggay leaves contain two times the protein in milk.

Here's my face. My pimples appear and disappear at times but I am tired of them especially when I'm about to have my periods. The breakouts are annoying and nothing ever works. Sometimes they stay for months and will not disappear and that makes me super shy. Eventually I will not go out because of them and my self esteem dwindles. What a downer! >_<

Fogrive my face and the camera quality. haha ^_^

So you can see, these pimples are so annoying and started to multiply even if I don't go out.

So I picked some fresh leaves and ground them with my hand after washing them until juice came out. I mixed it with a little water and continued to grind them until it feels sticky. I then applied it to my face like a mask, careful not to include the circles of my eyes and waited for like 15 minutes and then I washed with water.

TADAAAAH~!! Fat face haha

I didn't have a blender and I only used like one twig of the plant so there. I look funny! Haha

That's day one. Fast forward day 3. The pimples are not angry blotches as they have been days ago. I am religiously applying ground malunggay leaves and the juice in my face when I wake up and before I sleep.

I will update this post when I got to Day 5. I am seriously hoping this will work. For the good part, my pimples are not inflamed anymore. So yeah!

***UPDATE!!!***

Well, I felt compelled to show you how it went after my experiment with malunggay. So here's the outcome. After so many nights of smelling like crushed leaves and a whole tree cut down (LOL) I'm proud to say that I'm really pimple-free!

LOOK!!

Ceecee Lee my Cat

I am a person who likes many things and for that matter, pets are one of them. I am a cat person and I have a cat named CeeCee Lee. She's very energetic and sweet when she wants to but she can be a real prick at times. She loves to sit in closed and dark places. Who knows what devilry she could be mulling over during those times? My bags are her favorite go to stuff especially when I am about to use them. So I woke up early today to prepare for a major exam at school when I heard some nails scratching on wood. Hmmm~ I ignored it as any normal person would.

My jiujitsu gi and some of my bags are hung on top of my bed and I will be using my favorite red and white striped bag today.

The striped bag is behind that girly gi. So then I stood up and started to prepare when this happened :

You can't even get mad at her face like this!

See?!

Sing No Sad Songs To Me, My Dearest

Sing no sad songs to me, my dearest, for I am not a sentimental fool

Sing no sad songs to me, my heart's cold and calloused for sure

Sing no more sad songs to me, my dearest, for loneliness plays his music just the same

Sing no sad songs to me, my dearest, for I am not a sentimental fool.

DIY: Yummy Summer Cooler - Coffee

Check out this simple yet yummy coffee cooler that will surely leave you asking for more!

DIY : Chocolatey Oreo Cupcakes

Because I am feeling kind and gracious right this moment, I will share to you one of my own versions of this famous recipe. I am partially inclined to anything chocolate, so I will give you my one and only Oreo Cupcake recipe.

Yup.

So if you are ready, come and get these awesome stuffs so we can start.

A cup and a half of milk.
A stick of butter.
Quarter of a cup of vegetable oil.
Half a cup of awesome chocolate powder.
A cup of self raising flour.
One beaten egg.
Half a teaspoon of baking soda.
A cup and two tablespoons of sugar.
OREOs - lots of 'em!

Alrighty then. Let's start.

Turn the heat of the oven up to 350 degrees F about 10 minutes before baking.

On a medium pan, put milk, butter, oil and the chocolate powder and heat it until the butter melts. However, do not boil the mixture. Milk tends to curdle when doing that, which is a no-no. Allow the chocolate mixture to cool to room temperature.

While waiting, prepare your cupcake pans by lining with cupcake paper cups. Put one Oreo cookie per cup.

When the right temperature is achieved, put flour, baking soda, sugar and the beaten egg. You can either mix it by hand - kind of an exercise - or you can use a mixer and beat till the stuff is properly incorporated. Pour into cupcake pans up to three quarters full and bake for 15 to 10 minutes or when an inserted toothpick comes out clean.

Remove from oven and let cool. Top with melted chocolate or frost it. Or, you can eat it by itself. It is yummy and moist and can be eaten without the added sugar, you know! That is what I like about this cupcake. But for this, I used my own special frosting and melted chocolate.

If you want frosting though, there are different kinds of available frosting online that you can use, best bet is to use a mocha flavored butter-cream frosting. I want to share my own recipe of the frosting I used but I totally forgot the measurements of the stuff I added. Sometimes, I made frosting right then and there, only to forget how much each of them weighed.

I will make a batch of these soon and share to you the frosting I made specifically for this cupcake so you can try how I eat them.

I also made a cake version, substituted coffee to Oreos and here it is:

DIY : Ombre Shorts

Ok.

So recently, I got so busy delving into another world that also exists in this Earth: the Internet. I was looking for things to do, things to craft and things to play as a way of relieving stress coming from my current job.

To be honest, I wasn't really looking for something, I was just surfing the net when I came across these cool-colored shorts that are clearly long pants not so long ago. Check these out:

(c) Internet, of course

I am a fan of breezy short pants and, boy! These are fashionable trendy! Being the researcher that I am, I quickly searched about this and where can I obtain one. I discovered it is called Ombre shorts . Sadly, some of these are from abroad and the ones here are just plain EXPENSIVE!

So hmmm.. How can I make one? Here's where the fun begins.
I got a lot of plain shorts so I closed my eyes and picked one, hoping it wasn't my favorite, in case I fail. And then I thought, "What shall I need?"

I Googled about how to DIY these and the first try (I typed "ombre short") I was directed to HAIRSTYLES! OMBRE HAIRSTYLES! Whatever Google!! But then when I saw the photos of the hairstyles, I realized, this is just the same as the shorts! It has layers of colors. Like this:

(c) whoever took Miley C's photo

Well, I am not a neophyte in bleaching hair, I've bleached and colored my hair following the rainbow shades already. All I have to do is combine those and wear my hair like the rainbow at once! Anyway, back to the shorts. Since it involves bleaching, I prepared everything I needed, if you want to do this, follow through:

MATERIALS

• your not favorite shorts
• NOT blunt scissors
• a lot of bleach (I used Zonrox since it is by far the easiest obtainable bleach in the Philippines)
• pair of gloves
• old toothbrush (or new, whatever you like)
• small basin
• some patches or studs if you want them (I do but I haven't had any for now)

So by now you are ready and a bit nervous.

First, trim your shorts to your desired length. A short ombre shorts are so nice to look at! So, pick up a pen and line the legs and start cutting now! Make it into a V so when you wear it, it's not awkward.

forgive my poorly chopped pants! LOL

Right. See?

Okay! Put on your goody gloves and start working with bleach.
So fill a small basin up to half and then pour the desired amount of bleach and mix it well. Get your shorts and dip it up to where your desired bleach effect would be up to.

PLEASE! Avoid dripping on the other side of the shorts or you will see some unwanted spots. Total FAIL.

Wait for about 20-30 minutes to see the effect.
If you want to get a nice color, let it be submerged in the mixture for more or less than the time given, depending on your taste.

Yup, after 15 minutes.

I sometimes changed the position to achieve a balanced bleach effect on it. After 30 minutes, I removed it from the basin, spread it and brushed pure bleach on the center right where the color ends so I can remove some messy spots. You can do that - or not! c^^,)

Old toothbrush is very old and unused~

After that, I returned it to the basin to bleach it some more. Like this:

I waited for about 15 minutes more for this.

So after you got the color you wanted, remove it from the basin and wash it in flowing water, the bleached side on the bottom. Wash it well to remove all the bleach as bleach tends to be itchy on skin. Hang it to dry.

VIOLA! You have a pair of cool Ombre shorts! Attach the studs after it has dried and wear to flaunt!

Here's mine! \ (^_^) /

Right. Don't bother my beautiful face! haha

The Beach Effect

So, recently I went back to my hometown to attend my brother's wedding ceremony. What's more is that I also am the official wedding cake designer! Whew! I brought a friend with me to go home and after  few days of preparation fiasco, I made another cupcake tower of blueberry and carrot cupcakes. The top part was the red velvet cake which is a favorite of everyone.

After the wedding, we went to the beach to hit the ocean and said hello to sunburns! Here are some of our awesome photos of the clouds and some rocks!

*by the way, for those who do not know, I only use one kind of camera for this blog and that is the iPhone 4s camera. No DSLR or any of those stuff. Editing is done within the phone too*

On the way to the beach..

Hard to deny the beauty of the sky, eh?

Yep. Clouds are like, awesome!

Anyways, that is not all. I got some nice panoramic photos about the beach (some pictures with the species "ME" included. LOL! I enjoy the beach so much and I never miss the opportunity of taking photos everytime I visit. Check these out!

Here's the view of the epic sand and water while we were still preparing to take a swim.

This. This is a nice strip of white sand, no?

And this is the small rock-cave form I love!

Here it is again, with me in the left. haha!

Another take! Sometimes you just gotta think, maybe the rock loves all the attention!

Oh that is the beach, in another angle and side. With me, of course!

Pretty cool, right?
Before we went home, we also took fun photos! Scroll down and you will see how I am having fun with the camera! :) My pretty pretty friend is the willing subject!

Playin' in the sand, yes!

Aaaaand of course, there's this jump picture! :)

However, let me show you some of my favorite photographs. Few of my levitation photos. I would have gotten a lot more of these and a lot better angles but the light is fading and we are still to prepare our things before we go back home. So, look down and see what I got under the circumstances. You will not regret it!

Oh, yeah!!

Float

oooooooh.

THIS is my favorite. :)

viola!! Levitate!

Hmm, so I asked my friend to get some levitation photos of me. I would never miss doing such awesome stunt as this and capture it on camera. So here goes...

Oh, by the way, here's the photo of me with my cupcake tower during my brother's wedding! We both made it! It's not much due to a lot of thing that happened that day and my planned decoration for it was thwarted. I did enjoy making it though! :)